Following the Child: Letting Go of the Perfect Lesson Plan


As a music teacher, I used to walk into every lesson with a plan. Scales first, then sight-reading, followed by a set piece. But the more I worked with autistic children, the more I realized—the best teaching happens when I let go.

1. The Child Who Skipped the Warm-up

I once had a student who walked straight to the piano, skipped everything I had planned, and started playing his own tune. My instinct was to stop him and redirect. But I paused—and listened. What he played wasn’t random. It was a song we had explored weeks before, with his own twist.

That moment changed how I teach.

2. Why Flexibility Matters

Autistic learners often communicate through behavior, not words. If a child is drawn to a specific musical idea, it’s rarely “off-task.” It’s an opening—a glimpse into what’s meaningful to them. When we follow their lead, we build trust, connection, and deeper musical engagement.

3. What I’ve Learned to Do Instead

  • I keep a loose framework, not a rigid plan.

  • I observe before I instruct.

  • I turn spontaneous moments into teaching opportunities—adding rhythm, echo games, or improvisation.

  • And most importantly, I celebrate what is, not what was supposed to be.

Music as Partnership, Not Prescription

Working with autistic learners has taught me to value presence over perfection. A great music lesson isn’t always tidy. It may look different from what’s written in a curriculum guide. But when the child leads and we listen, learning flows in ways we couldn’t have planned.

 Have you ever had a student take the lead in an unexpected way? What did you do? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.

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